My heart is racing, my breath is agitated, my chest feels heavy, my hands are shaking, my stomach feels sick, my vision is blurry, my mind is dissociated from wherever it is I’m standing right now.
I can’t breathe. I can’t see.
There are too many things going on in my head; there are too many thoughts; there’s too little time.
A thousand feelings and memories and troubles hit me at once and I’m overwhelmed, yet I can’t bring myself to feel anything but numb. But at the same time I can also feel everything that could possibly be felt. I can’t comprehend.
Too many voices are around me right now–too many for my liking.
I’m usually okay with closed spaces but right now it’s closing in on me.
I’m walking, but I can’t feel it; now I’m sitting down, but I can’t feel it; now I’m writing, but I can’t feel it; now I’m talking, but I can’t hear it.
I didn’t sleep. Is it that? But this has happened before. Or has it? I can’t remember.
My thought process is messy, but my mind is set on all the things I have to do.
Procrastination. Hopelessness. No future for you. Right? I don’t know anymore.
My mom is texting me to just breathe and think of something nice.
Gee, thanks, never thought of that.
I can’t get it out of my head—I can’t get the numbness out.
I need a therapist. Or do I need enlightenment?
I don’t know.
I need to breathe, but I can’t.
I can’t feel me. Or can I?
Photo credits to: theheartysoul