I live in fear

Despite hearing the constant cries for help that come out of so many children, teenagers, and even adults’ mouths, it appears no one can hear them.
So many lives have been lost this year alone that it’s atrocious.
Despite us asking for such simple changes in our government, more guns are being handed out in silver platters to children, heartless people and worse.
At this point in my life, I can’t go on with my day without hearing on the news a report about a school shooting; an interview of a desperate, weeping mother who has just lost a precious part of her; or the lingering, shaky breaths that I seem to unwillingly hear as if I could see so many kids’ souls leave their bodies after they’ve been shot.
I live in fear.
Sometimes I don’t show it, and I try to stay positive and think, “Well, that probably won’t happen in my school. I have nothing to fear here; I am safe.” But the more I think about it, every day that passes is one more day in which my very own school could fall victim to our laws’ flaws. I mean, that very thought process of mine probably went through another kid’s mind right before some monster decided to rob them of their youth.
Every day the tension grows even more when we have to go through so many practice Code Yellows and Reds, or when we hear people all around us joke about the situation we’re in and dismiss it as inevitable or unsolvable, while simultaneously having the unconscious thought and apprehension towards death in the back of their minds.
I can’t help but live in fear. Even more so when my mom reminds me every day to “stay safe and aware of my surroundings at all times.” I can’t blame her for the fear she elicits from me, but the fact that she has to say anything regarding such a sensitive and complex concept to me–a child–scares me, and even angers me.
Why do we have to pay for our government’s idiocy?
This issue with guns keeps getting postponed, more lives are being lost every minute, and I still live in fear.


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